Impossible Love
by keehl86-jeevas87
Summary: A cheesy parody love story of Sasuke and Sakura. They form a relationship, but every time they have a 'moment' we, the authors, ruin it with the most random interruptions ever. Why? Because we're ass holes. Many cracks here. R&R.
1. Oh My God She's So Annoying

**Authors' Note: Though we published our Death Note stories first, this is actually the first story we've ever written. It's been at least two years since we finished it and we didn't revise it until just recently, so that's why it's late to come up. Again since this was our first story it's kinda cheesy, but it took forever to write. So no rude reviews, please.**

IMPOSSIBLE LOVE

A Seriously Screwed Up Sasuke/Sakura Love Story

By: Brett, Johnny, & Seth Wolff

CHAPTER ONE - Oh My God She's So Annoying

Sasuke finally wakes up at 10 in the morning. He slowly sits up in bed with one hand over his throbbing head. Then his memory rushes back over him like a huge wave. _Hold on... didn't I have a fight last night? And wasn't I in the woods before? _He thinks for a minute, then sighs, shaking his head and going with it. _You know what, whatever._ He turns to get out of bed but flies back when he sees Sakura sitting not even two feet from his bed, staring at him with a creepy stalker stare - wide-eyed, like she's staring at his soul or something.

"Holy shit!"

"Oh, thank god! Sasuke, you're alive...!" Sakura wipes her eyes. "I was so worried..." She starts crying then randomly stops and looks around for Ino, who had helped her take care of Sasuke the day before. She doesn't see her.

"Damn her, she ran out on me!" She growls. Rolling her eyes, she turns back to Sasuke. "Whatever. I don't care as long as I'm with you." she says in an obsessed prissy fan girl voice.

Sasuke gags, disgusted.

"Move. NOW." He tries his best to keep cool.

"Why?"

"Because I said so."

Sakura doesn't budge and changes the subject, ignoring his demand.

"So what do you wanna do?"

"I don't want to do anything, but I _do_ want you to move."

"Ok, fine. And by the way, I made you breakfast. You're having eggs, bacon, orange juice and toast. And I put your clothes on the other end of your bed. Just to let you know." She then leaves without another word.

Sasuke rubs his temples, annoyed. _Oh my god she's so annoying._ He gets up and puts the clothes she laid on the bed away and takes out a different pair of clothes that look exactly the same and puts them on. Then he throws the breakfast she made away and makes the exact same thing: eggs, bacon, orange juice and toast. He eats it, and then he leaves.

_At the training camp..._

Kakashi pauses reading his makeout paradise book to give instructions.

"Ok you guys, just do what we've been practicing for the past few weeks."

"But I know everything."

Kakashi glares at him.

"What was that, Naruto?"

"Ughh." He sighs. "Nevermind."

Kakashi walks away, book in hand.

Up on a branch in a tree, Sasuke rolls his eyes.

"You are so gay." Shortly after, he falls asleep.

Not too much later, Sakura walks up to the tree and looks up. She sees Sasuke, asleep. She screams at the top of her voice.

"Hey Sasuke!"

Startled awake, Sasuke falls out of the tree. He glares at her, holding his head where he had hit the ground. Then he gets up and walks away. Sakura follows him.

"Do you want to come over to my house today?"

"NO."

"Why?"

"Because."

"_'Because'_ is not an answer."

"Because I don't want to."

"Why?"

Annoyed, Sasuke starts speed walking, trying desperately to get away from her. When he finally loses her, he climbs in another tree and falls asleep again. Sakura soon finds the tree Sasuke had gone to and looks up to see him asleep again. She sighs. _Fine. If you can't beat him, join him._ She lays against the base of the tree, and soon enough she's asleep as well.

Later, while reading and walking, Kakashi passes Sasuke and Sakura and finds that both of them had fallen asleep. He goes over to them and loudly scolds them like a redneck.

"Yall should be trainin'."

Both of them startled, Sakura wakes up with a shriek and Sasuke falls out of the tree. Again. Sasuke growls in frustration at both of them and leaves again, this time going home.

Later that night, Sasuke is laying on his bed staring at the ceiling when suddenly Sakura just walks in out of nowhere. Sasuke groans as she sits beside his bed and stares at him again.

"You know that is illegal."

"What?"

"Going into someone's house uninvited."

"So. I don't care. Besides, it's just _your_ house."

Sasuke closes his eyes and groans loudly.

"Jeez Sasuke. There's no need to get so upset. You won't even notice I'm here. I won't say a word."

"Fine. No talking."

"Gotcha."

She makes it to three seconds before she starts talking nonstop. Sasuke smacks his hand on his face and tries desperately to ignore her._Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah_ is all he hears. He did catch her last statement though, right when he was about to lose it.

"Why do you wear the same clothes every day?"

Sasuke stares at her like she's the most retarded person on the planet.

"Are you stupid or something? Every Naruto character wears the same clothes every day. That's how Masashi Kishimoto does it."

"Who's Masashi Kishimoto?"

Sasuke sighs and rolls his eyes.

"Will you PLEASE just go."

"Why?"

"Because you're so fucking annoying!"

Sakura hesitates for a minute, then remarks less loudly.

"Well you don't have to be so mean…"

Sasuke grits his teeth.

"I'm sick of putting up with this crap every fucking day. I'm tired of it, and I think you'd better leave before this gets worse."

"I was never trying to annoy you. I just wanted you to like me…"

"Yeah? Well I've got news for you. I don't. Maybe, just maybe, if you acted a little more like me I _might_ just like you. But you're the exact opposite. You're annoying as hell, you stalk me, and you think you can just waltz into my house whenever you want saying 'it's just _your_house'!"

"…"

"I'm _sick_ of it. I can't stand you. So you know what, you need to leave."

"Sasuke…"

"I'm dead serious, Sakura."

"But I-"

"Get out!"

Sakura stares at him for a minute in hesitation, then bolts out the door before he could see her cry. Sasuke rolls his eyes and groans, putting his head under his pillow.


	2. Change

CHAPTER TWO – Change

Sasuke wakes up the next morning feeling slightly bad about snapping at Sakura so harshly. After breakfast he decides to go apologize. He goes over to her house and knocks on the door. Sakura opens it a few seconds later, and when she does Sasuke's eyes widen in shock. Sakura's hair was now black with red highlights. And not only that, she wasn't wearing her usual pink and red kimono either. Just dark grey knee-long shorts and a black shirt.

"What?" she asks.

"..." Sasuke stares at her in disbelief. "You _are_ Sakura, right?"

"Yes..."

"Ok..." he blinks a few times. "You look... different."

"Yeah. I changed my style a little."

"Why?"

"Because I wanted to, and because I can. Now what do you want?"

Sasuke keeps staring at her confused for a minute, then shakes his head.

"Look. I'm sorry about last night, ok? I got pissed off and lost it. I just wanted to apologize for that."

"Ok..." was Sakura's reply.

"That's all." Sasuke finishes, then he turns around and walks away.

Sakura stands there and watches him go. _Sasuke just... apologized to me._ She looks down, then goes back inside and shuts the door. _Strange._


	3. Confusion

CHAPTER THREE – Confusion

Later the same day at the training camp, Sasuke is sitting in a tree as usual, and Sakura is sitting under his tree sticking her bare feet in the river. Sasuke is still wondering what exactly is going on with Sakura, and after thinking to himself for a while, he decides to ask her.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm sitting."

Sasuke rolls his eyes.

"Yes, I can _see_ you're sitting. I meant why are you acting so weird?"

"I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yes you do."

"No I don't."

"Yes you do."

"No I don't."

"Yes you do, Sakura. Just tell me."

"There's nothing wrong, Sasuke."

"Sakura... I'm just curious."

Sakura stays silent and thinks for a while, then decides to tell him.

"Ok, ok. You said... that if I acted like you a little more you'd like me better."

"When did I say that?"

Sakura stares at him like he's hopelessly lost.

"Seriously."

"Seriously what?"

"Something is seriously wrong with you if you can't remember that."

"...Well, I don't remember. Sorry."

"Last night, Sasuke! You seriously can't remember what you said just last night?"

"Well _excuse me_ for forgetting!"

They both hear footsteps and look up to see who's coming.

"Ughh." Sasuke sighs. "It's Kakashi."

"Now what..." Sakura rolls her eyes.

"WHAT are you doing?" Kakashi asks, this time with a prissy teenage girl voice with one hand on his stuck out hip.

"Sitting." Sakura says, again.

"I'm thinking you're gay." is Sasuke's reply. Sakura fights to keep from laughing.

"WHY aren't you training?" Kakashi sasses.

"What exactly have you taught us other than you're boring us to death sitting there reading your stupid book all day." Sasuke says.

"I know dude, seriously." Sakura adds.

"DON'T get SMART with me." Kakashi snaps.

"Bite me." Sasuke snaps back.

"Both of you better get up off your butts and start training or I WILL be back to yell at you again." Kakashi orders, still like a prissy teenage girl, then walks away.

Sasuke laughs.

"That's the _best_ threat he can give me? What the crap."

Sakura shrugs and laughs a little herself. Soon after, she slowly stands up.

"I'm gonna head home."

"But what about Kakashi?"

"Ha. As if Mr. 'Or I'll come back and yell at you again' will really do anything."

"Yeah, true."

Sakura gestures goodbye and leaves. Still curious, Sasuke wants to see if Sakura meant it when she said she wanted to change, so he decides to follow her home. He watches her through the window, and all she did was cook dinner, do some laundry, and finally did what he usually did – laid down on the bed and quietly stared up at the ceiling and did nothing. She did that long enough that Sasuke was convinced she wasn't going to crack. He stands there amazed.

"She _is_ serious..." he says to himself. After pondering it for a while, he goes home.


	4. Confessions

CHAPTER FOUR – Confessions

After weeks go by, Sasuke is convinced that Sakura really isn't going to be so annoying anymore. He liked not having the old Sakura harass him all day anymore, and soon he even started enjoying her company a little. He grew somewhat fonder of her a little at a time, a little more each day the more time he spent with her, and he eventually ended up even liking her in a way more than just friends. Not like _'I want to go out with you'_ just yet, but just a little. At first he didn't believe that this would ever actually happen, but after spending a little time thinking about it, eventually Sasuke decides to tell Sakura that he liked her a little now.

At the training grounds, Sakura is again sitting in the grass by the river with her feet in the water, and Sasuke is in the tree above her. After some time, Sasuke comes down from the tree. _I can't believe I'm actually doing this._ Slowly, he walks over to Sakura and sits beside her.

"Hey." he says, staring at his reflection on the river's surface.

"Hi."

"I want to tell you something."

Sakura looks at him.

"What is it?"

"..." Sasuke hesitates for a second, then relaxes and calmly tells her. "I like you. Sort of."

Sakura is somewhat surprised to hear this.

"Wait... seriously?"

Suddenly Gaara pops up out of nowhere.

"You LIKE her?" he asks in disbelief. Both startled a little, Sasuke and Sakura turn around.

"When did _you_ get here?" Sakura asks.

"Yes, I do. Is there a problem?" Sasuke snaps.

Gaara looks at Sakura, then back at Sasuke like he's insane.

"Well, it's just... I mean, why? She is so ugly!"

Sasuke growls and rushes at Gaara, using his chidori. Gaara punches Sasuke in the face and kicks him to the ground. He tries to kick him a second time, but Sasuke catches his foot and throws him into a tree. Blood shoots out of Gaara's mouth as he slams into the tree while Sasuke rushes at him again, armed with his chidori. But just before Sasuke can use his chidori Gaara dodges, appearing behind Sakuske and stabbing him in the back of his shoulder with a kunai, so deep that it comes out of the front. Sasuke cringes in pain and Gaara throws him to the ground again. Sasuke staggers back to his feet and kicks Gaara in the face.

Having seen enough, Sakura takes a paper bomb and ties it to a kunai, then throws it between them. The two boys stare at it wide-eyed as it begins to ignite, then run for cover. It explodes, and Sakura steps in.

"Guys! Knock it off!" she shouts.

Gaara scoffs.

"You know what Sasuke, you're gay. I'm leaving."

Sasuke sends him off in a mocking manner by flicking him off, and Gaara growls and uses his jutsu.

"Sand needles!" Giant needles of sand fly at Sasuke and thrust him a few yards across the ground, instantly knocking him out. Gaara then vanishes.

Sakura looks at Sasuke who is now passed out on the ground, then she hurriedly goes over to the river and takes her water holder from behind her back and fills it with water. She takes it back over to Sasuke and gets on her knees beside him and douses the water on his face. Sasuke immediately comes to and sits up and shouts.

"Oh my god, water! I hate water!"

Sakura rips the kunai out of Sasuke's shoulder and Sasuke yells.

"Oww!"

"Does that feel better?"

"NO!"

Sakura pulls out a bandana and gently wraps it around the wound.

"Well, you can't just leave that thing stuck in your shoulder Sasuke." She helps him up. "Now let's get you home so I can treat that."

Sasuke groans.

"Would you rather have an infection?"

"Yes."

"Well too bad, the infection will feel a lot worse Sasuke. Trust me." She grabs his shirt and pulls him with her back to his house. On the way there, Sakura says something completely random.

"Hey Sasuke."

"What?"

"Butt-whistle."

"What... oh." Sasuke rolls his eyes when he gets it.

Kakashi then walks past them and farts, and Sakura points at him.

"See? Butt-whistle."


	5. Messing With Kakashi

CHAPTER FIVE – Messing With Kakashi

The next day at the training grounds, Kakashi is again reading his makeout paradise or whatever it's called book. Eventually, he falls asleep with the book on his face. Seeing Kakashi asleep, Sasuke gets an idea. He smirks and looks at Sakura.

"Wanna mess with Kakashi?"

Sakura smirks back.

"Sure."

The two quietly sneak over to Kakashi, and Sasuke looks around for Naruto to make sure he isn't watching, and finds that Naruto had also fallen asleep a few trees away. Sasuke grins and carefully lifts Kakashi's book off of his face and hands it to Sakura, and they both walk over to Naruto and slip the book down his shirt, then go back to where they were before.

Later, Kakashi wakes up, sees his book is gone, then starts to look around for it.

"Where is my book?" he says, beginning to worry. Frantic, he starts feeling around for it. Not finding it anywhere, he freaks out.

"BOOOOOK!" Kakashi screams. This catches Sasuke and Sakura's attention, and they look up and see Kakashi running around in circles screaming.

"BOOK! BOOK! BOOK! BOOK! BOOK! BOOK!"

All the screaming also wakes Naruto, startling him.

"Dude, what the heck is your problem!" he yells.

Kakashi stops and looks at Naruto, then sees a big book-shaped object stuck in his shirt.

"BOOOOOOOOK!" Kakashi screams, bolting toward Naruto with a crazed look on his face.

"WHOA!" Naruto shouts creeped out, then he turns around and runs, but Kakashi catches him before he can get very far. He grabs him by the back of his shirt and shakes him around in the air, screaming.

"BOOOOOOOOOK!"

Sasuke and Sakura run as fast as they can out of the training camp, and as soon as they're out of earshot they both crack up.

"You know, I sort of feel bad for Naruto." Sakura says, when she finally catches her breath again.

"I don't. It was too funny." Sasuke remarks.

After a short silence, they both crack up again.


	6. A Change of Feelings

CHAPTER SIX – A Change of Feelings

Years pass, and Sakura and Sasuke start to hang out and like each other a little bit more each time they're together. When Sasuke is 16 he goes out for a walk in the woods on Christmas Eve with Sakura, who is now 15. They talk and enjoy each other's company and mess around with each other.

Suddenly, Sakura turns and throws a snowball at Sasuke and it hits him in the face. He turns and glares at her, and she giggles. Smirking, Sasuke picks up a huge pile of snow and tries to throw it at Sakura, but is hit with another snowball, making him fall over and drop it all on himself. Sakura laughs, and while she's laughing Sasuke makes a snowball behind his back, then throws it at her. Eventually they engage in a full on snowball fight.

They pelt each other with countless snowballs until in the end they finally call a truce. While they're both laughing, Sasuke feels a connection between the two of them. Sakura is just having a good time, but Sasuke feels something a little more. Sakura notices Sasuke's expression of thought.

"Is something wrong?"

"Nothing. It's just that I never thought that I could have this much fun with you." Sasuke scratches the back of his neck nervously. "I... I always thought you were going to be bratty, obsessive, and annoying. But I guess I was mistaken."

"..." Sakura blushes. "Wow. Umm... thanks, Sasuke."

Sasuke manages a crooked smile. Sakura holds out her hand and helps Sasuke up, and they keep walking together. When they reach a lake, Sakura laughs and jumps in.

"Come on Sasuke, join me!"

"Why?"

"Because. It's fun to swim."

"No. I hate water."

Sakura rolls her eyes.

"Don't be such a baby."

"Fine."

Sasuke takes off his shoe and sticks one toe in the water and then quickly drew it back out.

"There. Happy?"

"Nope. That doesn't count."

Sakura jumps out and grabs the back of Sasuke's shirt and pulls him in.

"Ughhh!"

"Hahahah!" Sakura laughs and splashes water in his face.


	7. He Finally Asks

CHAPTER SEVEN – He Finally Asks

The next morning Sakura runs out the door to Sasuke's house. When Sasuke opens the door Sakura grabs his shoulders and shakes him.

"Teach me some of your jutsu."

Sasuke glares at her.

"You're acting like yourself again."

"Fine." She slaps him. "Teach me."

"Ow! When have I ever done that?"

"That one time you let Naruto borrow one of your kunais. You went to get it back and slapped him and said 'give me'."

"...Oh yeah."

"So teach me."

"What exactly do you want me to teach you?"

"Tai jutsu and chidori."

"Fine."

Sasuke takes Sakura out in the woods until they reach a place they think is far enough and start practicing. They do this for about a month, until Sakura finally gets it.

On the day Sakura masters it, Sasuke finally tries to make his move.

"You know, you're doing great. Looks like you got the hang of this. And by the way Sakura... I was just wondering..." He tries to finish the sentence but for some reason can't.

Sakura smiles lightly.

"You want me to go out with you."

Sasuke looks surprised.

"Umm... yeah. How did you know?"

"I could just tell. You were making it obvious."

"Ok..." Sasuke scratches the back of his neck nervously. "So... yeah. Would you?"

"Sure. But I want to ask a question first."

"What?"

"Are you gay?"

"..." Sasuke looks at her like she's retarded. "You're a girl, right?"

"Yeah..."

"And I just asked you out, right?"

"Yeah."

"So how does that indicate that I'm gay?"

"I don't know, maybe you're bisexual."

Sasuke rolls his eyes.

"I'm not gay and I'm not bisexual, Sakura."

Sakura laughs.

"I'm just messing with you, Sasuke. Calm down."


	8. Sasuke Get Assaulted by Neji

CHAPTER EIGHT – Sasuke Gets Assaulted by Neji

The next morning a few hours after the sun rises, Sakura randomly walks into Sasuke's bedroom while he's still asleep. She goes up to him and shakes him until he wakes up.

"What Sakura" he says, annoyed.

"I need you to go to the store for me."

"No. Go away." Sasuke grunts, putting his head under the pillow.

Sakura flips the mattress over and Sasuke falls to the floor.

"I need you to go to the store."

"Ughh! Why don't you go to the store yourself!"

"Because I don't want to, now get dressed and go."

"No."

"Sasuke, get up."

"No!"

"Get up!"

"No!"

"Please?"

"FINE!"

Sasuke stands up and throws the mattress in Sakura's face, then gets dressed.

"What do you want from the store?"

"Eggs, milk, cheese, waffles, pancakes, french toast, and fabric softener."

"Ok."

Later, Sasuke walks out of the store with bags of groceries in his hands. He makes it about halfway home when Neji comes out of nowhere and punches Sasuke in the arm.

"Hey man, what's up!"

"Hi." Sasuke says in a monotone voice, and keeps walking.

"Come on man, let's go get drunk together!" Neji says, grabbing Sasuke's arm and pulling him away.

Sasuke yanks his arm out of Neji's grip and continues walking.

"No."

Neji tries to punch Sasuke again but misses and falls face first on the ground. Sasuke stares down at him like he's retarded or something, and Neji staggers to his feet and grabs Sasuke's arm and starts pulling him away again.

"Come get drunk with me, bro."

"No."

"Oh come on man, don't be a dick."

"No, Neji."

Finally after 17 failed punches Neji manages to punch Sasuke in the face, thus knocking him out. Sasuke is then dragged by his feet to Neji's apartment where Tenten, Shikamaru, and Ino are waiting. Shikamaru helps Neji lift Sasuke onto the couch.

"Hand it to me."

Shikamaru hands Neji a ginormous bottle of liquor, and Neji uncorks it and pours it down Sasuke's throat. Later, when Sasuke finally wakes up, needless to say he is drunk off his ass. For no reason he just busts out laughing.

"Ha ha ha! Check out Sasuke!" Neji shouts from across the room.

"Sup Neji."

"Hey Sasuke."

Sasuke gets up and staggers across the room, tripping and falling a few times. Then when he gets to the other side of the room he uses his sharingan on Tenten.

"Hey Tenten"

"What?"

"I can totally see through your clothes."

Tenten slaps him in the face.

"Yeah, nice polka-dot underwear." Neji remarks with his byakugan.

"They're stripes, Neji. Not polka-dots."

"Oh, well then I think my byakugan isn't working right" Neji smacks himself in the face and falls to the floor.

Shikamaru walks across the room and trips over Neji and falls on his face, then Neji slowly stands up.

"Hey Sasuke"

"What?"

"Let's go to your house."

"Ok."

Sasuke and Neji drunkenly head over to Sasuke's apartment, where Sakura is still waiting for Sasuke to return with the groceries. When they get there Sasuke kicks down the door and tries to walk in but trips on the door and falls on his face. Neji stands there pointing at Sasuke and laughing, and Sasuke stands up and goes over to the computer desk and starts ransacking through a whole bunch of papers.

"Sasuke, what are you doing?" Sakura asks, walking out of the kitchen.

Sasuke ignores her and continues throwing papers in the air and on the floor.

"Sasuke!"

"Sakura, where are my suction cups?"

"They're in that drawer, but-"

Sasuke opens the drawer that Sakura pointed to and takes out four suction cups and attaches them to his hands and feet, then proceeds to climb up the wall and onto the ceiling while laughing like an idiot. Neji laughs and tries to join him, running toward the wall and trying to run up it, but fails and falls on the floor. Sasuke laughs at him, but then his suction cups give in to his weight and he falls off the ceiling and falls on top of Neji.

"Ok, I have no idea what the hell's going on... but I've seen enough."

Sasuke and Neji stare up at Sakura with stupid grins on their faces as she hauls them to their feet, and she punches them in the face and knocks them both out.

Later, Sasuke wakes up with an extremely bad headache and sits up with one hand on his throbbing head. He glances over at Sakura.

"What happened last night..." he asks groggily.

"To be honest, I have no fucking clue."

"And why is Neji on my floor?"

"You guys came here loaded drunk yesterday." Sakura rolls her eyes. "And did you even get the groceries?"

"What? ...Oh. Shit, I left them at Neji's."

Tenten appears at the door with Sasuke's grocery bags.

"I believe these are yours."

Tenten sets the bags on the table and goes to Neji and lifts him off the floor, who is still out cold. She then hogties him and slings him over her shoulder and leaves. Sasuke and Sakura watch her go with one eyebrow raised.

"Ok..." Sasuke says, walking to the other room. "I'm gonna go take some painkillers for this damn hangover."


	9. Childhood Stories

CHAPTER NINE – Childhood Stories

One night Naruto decides to gather all the genin and chunin and have a party for no absolute reason whatsoever at 3:05 in the morning. Sasuke and Sakura decide to leave the party and go out to the spot in the woods that they usually hang out at, just near the river.

They're sitting side by side with the shining water in front of them, gazing up at the stars and moon. After a while, Sakura asks a question out of the blue.

"Hey Sasuke... have you ever had any good times with Itachi when you guys were little?"

"Yeah, but there's only one that I can remember well."

"Care to share?"

"There was this one time when Itachi had one of those prankster toys. It was a light-sensitive machine that mad mosquito noises when you shut of the lights, but when the lights were on it stopped. So one time at 3 in the morning we took it under mom and dad's bed and turned it on and messed with them until we were eventually caught. That was fun. It's a memory I won't forget. What about you? Are you an only child?"

"Well, I had a brother once."

"You _had_ a brother?"

"Yeah. He died when I was little. My parents said that he sacrificed his life to save a team member on a mission."

"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that."

"It's ok. I don't remember much about him, I was only three years old."

Sasuke stares at her blushing slightly, noticing how the moonlight really brought out Sakura's features.

"Sakura... you look beautiful in this light."

"..." Sakura looks over at him blushing herself. "Really?"

"Yeah." Sasuke looks away again. "Sorry if my charming ways suck. I try."

Sasuke blushes when Sakura briefly but affectionately kisses him.

"It didn't suck. It was sweet."

Sasuke weakly smirks, and after a few moments' hesitation he brushes Sakura's hair back and kisses her back. And somewhere else, Naruto is dancing while singing Single Ladies horribly in a green unitard.


	10. Kakashi's Surprise

CHAPTER TEN – For Nothing

This is not the real chapter 10. The real chapter 10 will begin after I'm done telling you that this is not the real chapter 10. Hell, we don't even know why we wrote this fake chapter 10. We were stuffing our faces with junk food while writing this and I guess we were high on sugar.

THE REAL CHAPTER TEN – Kakashi's Surprise

The next morning Sakura wakes up Sasuke by poking him a billion gajillion million times.

"Sasuke. Sasuke. Sasuke. Sasuke. Sasuke. Sasuke."

"WHAT." he groans.

"Go over to Neji's house and ask him if I can borrow his peanut butter."

"No." Sasuke slams his pillow over his head.

Sakura flips his mattress over and he goes down with it.

"Go!"

"FINE!"

Sasuke storms out the door and heads over to Neji's house. About halfway there he runs into Kakashi, who is at this time drunk off his ass. The two of them are standing five yards away from each other. All of a sudden you hear a flute playing in the background and a tumbleweed rolls across the road in between them. They begin squinting their eyes at each other and twiddling their fingers and crap like they were in some old western movie.

Finally, Kakashi makes his move. He slowly turns around and grabs the back of his pants, then quickly pulls them down and back up again and runs away laughing. Sasuke is just standing there with the facial expression that Ichigo had when Rukia said that he had to do the work of a soul reaper since her powers were taken. That face cracked us up, so that's why we're using it. We do not own Bleach or their characters.

Sasuke goes back home and abruptly slides open the wood door.

"Kakashi just mooned me!"

"Ha." Sakura grins. "I bet you liked it."

"No I didn't! Do you see the disgusted look on my face?"

"Faker."

"Haven't you noticed that I'm going out with a girl, and that girl just so happens to be _Sakura_, who's guts I hated once upon a time?"

"That's because you used to be gay."

"I was not!"

"Were too."

"Was not!"

"Were too."

While they're still arguing Naruto comes running into their house holding his finger, which has a splinter in it, bawling his eyes out. He runs around the entire inside perimeter of their house still crying, then runs back outside and runs away still crying. Sasuke and Sakura are still arguing.

"Was not!"

"Were too."

"Was not!"

"Were too."

Then Link from The Legend of Zelda comes out of nowhere and kicks Sakura in the face and she falls to the floor. Pissed, she gets up and chases after him as he runs away laughing.


	11. The First Date

CHAPTER ELEVEN – The First Date

The next day after training, Sasuke and Sakura are walking home. They usually don't say anything while walking home, but this time Sasuke makes conversation.

"Sakura, will you go somewhere with me?"

"Sure, I guess."

"First, how long have we been going out now?"

"I'm not sure... at least a year, I think. Why?"

"Well, I just realized I've never actually taken you on a real date. I feel bad about that, so I want to take you somewhere. Will you go on a date with me?"

"Sure. Where do you want to take me?"

"I was thinking I should take you out to dinner."

"Sounds ok. What restaurant do you want to go to?"

"How's Silver Corral sound?"

"Sounds alright."

"Ok then. Later tonight we'll go."

Sasuke takes Sakura's hand and they walk home together hand in hand.

_Later..._

Sasuke and Sakura are sitting at a table in Silver Corral. The waitress walks up to them and they both are shocked at who it is.

"Hinata? I didn't know you worked here..." Sakura says.

"Oh, hey Sakura. Hi Sasuke. I'm a bit surprised you guys are at a restaurant with each other. Sasuke-san (you all know how Hinata's always polite) I thought you didn't like her."

"Long story. I'll have ribs." Sasuke says.

"Ok..." Hinata starts writing. "Ribs. How about you, Sakura-chan?"

"I'll have a hamburger."

"...and hamburger. Alright. What kind of sauce would you like with your ribs, Sasuke-san?"

"Barbeque."

"Alright. I'll have your orders in a moment."

A few minutes later she comes back with their orders, then sets them on their table.

"Have a nice date, er, day you two." Hinata says with a smile and bow, then walks away.

Suddenly some random dudes with a camera set walk into the restaurant. They pick out a random set of customers to advertise for the restaurant to get people to eat there, you know, so they ask people what they think of the restaurant and crap. But unfortunately, they pick Sasuke and Sakura. They shove all the cameras and microphones in their faces and start asking a million questions at once.

Camera Dudes: "So tell us, what do you guys think of this place? Do you like their music? Do you like the style here? What do you think of the wators and waitresses? Are they well mannered? Are they ass holes? What about the food? Is the food good here?"

Sasuke rolls his eyes, annoyed.

"Dude, you just freaking ruined our... what is wrong with you?"

Neji is at home drunk again, and he just so happens to be watching this broadcast.

"Whoa, dude! Sasuke's on TV?"

He runs all the way over to Silver Corral and onto the set.

"Dude, Sasuke, you're on TV!"

Sasuke just stares at him.

"No, really Sasuke! Come look!"

"I know that. See the camera?"

"Oh."

"You're on TV too."

"I'm on TV?"

Neji runs to Naruto's house and brings him to the restaurant and onto the set.

"I saw Sasuke on TV and I went to tell him and so I was on TV and now you're on TV."

"I'm on TV?"

Naruto runs home and turns on his TV and sees them but he's not there. Then he runs back.

"Nu-uh, liar!"

"Idiots." Sasuke rolls his eyes and just eats his ribs.


	12. The Proposal

CHAPTER TWELVE – The Proposal

Three years worth of random crap passes. One late evening Sasuke and Sakura are sitting up on a branch in a tree at their usual hangout in the woods. They are both now full fledged ninjas and no longer have training, and Sasuke is now 20 and Sakura is 19. They stare up at the moon and stars.

"So what are we out here for?" Sakura asks.

"Huh..." Sasuke says, half paying attention and half in thought.

"You said you wanted to tell me something."

"Oh. Right. Umm... I forgot what it was that I was going to ask you." He was clutching a small box in his pocket, but he really didn't forget. He was still thinking to himself. _I don't know if I'm ready for this yet. What will she say...? Maybe I should rehearse this first._ Sakura notices the box-shaped object in his pocket.

"What's in that box in your pocket?"

Sasuke's eyes widen. _Oh shit._

"What box?"

"The box in your pocket."

"There's no box in my pocket."

"Yes there is, I see it."

"No there isn't. Your eyes are lying to you."

"Sasuke, just let me see the box."

"What box?"

"The box in your pocket."

"There's no box in my pocket."

"Yes there is."

"No there's not."

"Dude, just give me the box!"

"What box?"

Sakura shoves her hand down his pocket and pulls out the box, but Sasuke snatches it back before she can open it. He tries to put it back in his pocket but Sakura grabs his arm and tries to take it again. Soon enough they end up playing tug of war with the box.

"Give me the box!"

"What box?"

"The box we're fighting over!"

"We're not fighting over a box!"

"Yes we are!"

"No we're not!"

An owl flies out from some trees and perches on a branch in front of them, turns its head upside down, and sticks its neck out at them.

"Hoo!"

Sasuke and Sakura ignore it and keep fighting.

"Give me the box!"

"No!"

"Give me the box!"

"No!"

The owl turns its head upside down again and sticks its neck out again.

"Hoo!"

Sasuke and Sakura are still fighting.

"Give me the box!"

"No!"

"Give me the box!"

"No!"

The owl turns its head upside down again and sticks its neck out again.

"Hoo!"

"Shut up!" Sasuke punches the owl in the face and it falls out of the tree, then he manages to get the box back.

"This isn't a box!"

"Then what is it?"

"It's... a blue cube that CAN'T be opened."

"Why do you have a 'blue cube' that can't be opened?"

"Because... it's small and... blue and... pointy... blue cubes are awesome."

Sakura snatches the box from him and opens it, and sees the small diamond ring inside. It glistens in the moonlight, and Sakura gazes at it blushing.

"Sasuke..."

"Great. Now I _have_ to say it." Sasuke sighs. _I wasn't ready, but I guess I have to now._

"..."

"I didn't want to do this yet, because of what you might think or say... but..."

Sakura stares at him.

"Sakura... I love you." Sakura faintly smiles, and Sasuke scratches the back of his neck nervously. "W-will you... m-"

"Yes." Sakura answers, cutting him off. She slips the ring on her finger, then with both hands grabs his. "I will."

"..." Sasuke sits there in shock, lost for words. "R... really?"

Sakura smiles.

"Yes. Really."

Sasuke smiles back, crookedly.

"Ok... cool."

Sakura laughs and softly kisses him. And back at Neji's house, Naruto and Neji are fighting with each other.

"You're retarded Neji!"

"Your face is retarded!"

Neji throws sliced onions into Naruto's eyes, and Naruto runs around in circles screaming as the acidic onions inflames his eyes.

"AAAHHHHH!"


	13. The Wedding

CHAPTER THIRTEEN – The Wedding

I'm skipping all the getting ready for the wedding crap, because it takes forever and is super boring. Sakura is now walking down the stairs in their house (Sasuke and Sakura live together now and are getting married at their house, not a church) all dressed up and crap. No one walks down with her, although tradition has the bride's dad walk with her, because I have no idea who the hell her dad is. We all know that Sasuke's parents are dead as well as his brother Itachi, so they aren't there either.

Instead of the boring, non-catchy traditional wedding music, scream is what we're gonna use for Sakura 'walking the isle'. The music starts playing as she begins walking, and halfway there she trips on her dress and shrieks and falls. She quickly gets back up and starts walking again until she reaches Sasuke. Sasuke rolls his eyes.

"Sorry, this dress is too long."

Preacher Man: "Ok, so who's getting married today?"

Sasuke and Sakura raise an eyebrow when they see Deidara standing in front of them wearing a tux.

"Deidara? When did you become a priest?" Sakura asks, confused.

"Preacher."

"Whatever."

"Since yesterday. So whom do I have the pleasure to wed today?"

"Me and Sakura." Sasuke answers.

"Alright then. Take each other's hands."

Sasuke and Sakura take hands and look into each other's eyes, and Deidara proceeds to wed them.

"We'll use the short version today. Do you?"

"Yes."

"Do you?"

"Yes."

"Good. You're married. Kiss her."

Right as they're about to kiss, Marty and Doc from Back to the Future warp in between them in their time traveling car, so Sasuke and Sakura end up kissing their cheeks then freak out and back away, wiping their mouths and spitting.

Marty: "Uhh… hey Doc, I don't think we're back in 1989."

Doc: "Whoa dude, these aren't even real people! They're cartoons!"

"How the hell can a time machine even put us in cartoon?"

"I don't know…" Doc looks at the gauge, which says .1989. "Dude, you put point (.) 1989 you idiot!"

"What? I didn't know this thing had decimals…"

"Just take it out and just put plain 1989!"

"Ok, jeez! My bad!"

Marty resets it and he and Doc warp away again. Sasuke and Sakura just stand there with 'what the hell' expressions.

"What the hell was that?" Sasuke says with an eyebrow raised.

"I don't know… where were we?"

"I was about to kiss you."

"Right."

Sasuke and Sakura then kiss, and Deidara smirks. Now we go to the people in the audience, and the screen slowly moves across the crowd, starting with Naruto and Shikamaru. Naruto is just sitting there crying, and Shikamaru looks over at him.

"Dude, why are you crying?"

Naruto blows his nose.

"I just get so emotional at weddings… plus, that should be me! Not Sasuke!"

He starts crying again, and the screen moves on to Kiba and Akamaru.

"Arff! Arff!"

"No Akamaru, you can't eat the cake. It has chocolate in it."

"?"

"Chocolate can kill dogs."

"Awwrrr…"

Moving on to Neji. Lee comes down the row and sits next to him.

"Hey. What's up."

Neji just rolls his eyes. For once he's actually sober and acts like he normally does when he's not drunk, the same as he acts in the anime.

"So what did I miss?" Lee asks.

"You missed the whole thing."

"What? DANG IT!"

Moving on to Hinata and Ino. Hinata sighs.

"Hopefully that will be me and Naruto one day…" she says, blushing.

"Hey, Hinata!" Naruto greets her while walking by to go to the bathroom. Hinata squeals and faints.

Ino raises one eyebrow in thought. _Me and Shikamaru…? Enghh… maybe. I'll think about it._


	14. The Reception

CHAPTER FOURTEEN – The Reception

Sasuke goes and buys two doves, a male and a female. He takes clothes off of dolls and puts a tux on the guy dove and a white gown and veil on the girl dove. But when he puts the doves on the cake they try to fly away, so he grabs them both by the wing and puts them back on the cake and shoves them down into the cake up to their chests.

The reception starts, and music plays while everyone just hangs out and celebrates. Sasuke dims the lights a bit, and he and Sakura separate from the others and begin to dance. Sasuke puts his arms around Sakura's waist, and Sakura wraps her arms around Sasuke's neck. This is a couple hours later in the day, after they all went home to dress casually for the party. When you're dressed that nicely and then get food all over your REALLY EXPENSIVE wedding clothes, that's a really stupid move. So Sasuke is now wearing baggy white pants with a wallet chain and one of his black open-collared shirts, and Sakura is wearing a kimono similar to the one she used to wear, only this one is black.

"You know, I never thought it would end up this way." Sasuke says.

"Oh? And what do you mean by that?"

"Well, I used to have a feeling that I'd be forced to marry you anyway."

"Oh." Sakura looks down, disappointed. Sasuke puts his hand under her chin and lifts her head up.

"Sakura, that was before. Forget the past, ok? It's different now. This is real, and I wouldn't have it any other way."

Suddenly, a part of Sakura that hasn't been seen since she had changed swells up inside of her.

"Sasuke... thanks. I think you're a cool person. I always have."

Sakura lays her head against Sasuke's chest.

"But... even though I thought this would never happen, it did. It feels good to be accepted, noticed, liked... and loved. I'm glad that someone loves me. And I'm really glad that it's you."

Sasuke smiles.

"I love you, Sakura."

Sasuke brushes Sakura's hair behind her ear and softly kisses her. Meanwhile, while the two of them have their moment that's _finally_ not interrupted, the dove in the tux takes a crap inside the cake since he's stuck and can't take his business elsewhere. Ino saw this, and when Shikamaru cuts a piece of the cake for himself and takes a bite out of it Ino screams.

"Shikamaru, one of the doves crapped in that!"

Shikamaru gags and spits out the cake, and in slow-mo it flies at Ino and hits her in the face, and in slow-mo she screams, disgusted. Slow-mo ends, and Ino freaks out and runs away screaming. Kiba comes up with his own plate of cake.

"What was that about?" he says to Shikamaru, but he's busy puking. So Kiba walks away. "Ok... never mind."

The dove in the tux starts struggling to get out of the cake and accidentally slaps the dove in the gown in the face with his wing, and she slaps him back with her wing. The dove in the tux rips the veil off the dove in the gown then she breaks free and hovers over him while he's still trapped in the cake and claws on his head with her talons.


	15. Kankuro's Surprise

CHAPTER FIFTEEN - Kankuro's Surprise

Shino, Tenten, and Ino are sitting at a table in Silver Corral. And Temari, Gaara, and Kankuro are sitting at the table next to them.

"Hey, I'm gonna do something." Kankuro declares.

"Oh god." Gaara sighs.

Temari rolls her eyes.

"Kankuro, please don't do something stupid and get us kicked out again."

She turns to glare at him but he disappeared.

"Dammit Kankuro!"

Kankuro is hiding under Shino, Tenten, and Ino's table. He waits for a bit, then pops up out from underneath the table, flipping it over and pointing at his face.

"I WEAR MAKEUP!"

Shino and Tenten's plates are flung into their faces and Ino screams like a man. Temari and Gaara sigh and put their heads in their hands.

THE END

Brett, Johnny and Seth are sitting on the couch together, laughing. Then they knuckle-touch each other.

"Oh yeah! We are such geniuses."

**And that's our seriously fucked up Sasuke/Sakura love story. Hope you enjoyed. We do not own Naruto, as obvious as that is, but we have to follow the rules and state so. And we respect that. So there you go.**

**- Brett, Johnny, and Seth**


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